I am currently sitting by the fire and drinking a cup of hot tea while my children are sleeping. There is a lovely thunderstorm outside on this dark night and I feel like this is the perfect time cozy up and write. So here goes....
I am in heaven!! I can't believe that I am coming up on a year when this all began. This time last year, I was sending out my first facebook post about The Bethany Stage and asking for actors to come take a chance on me with Pride and Prejudice. What an amazing year it has been! Thank you to all of you who believed in me and were in my first shows. Thank you to all my actors and all our patrons and all my mentors. Thank you to all my students at SNU! Thank you, especially to my husband and two little girls who have sacrificed so much this year. I am so excited and happy that we are going to have our auditions for our very first musical June 22-24. Guys and Dolls!! What a fun show! And while I am casting that, I am also casting The Importance of Being Earnest which will take place in September. If you or someone you know is interested in auditioning on April 9th or April 11th, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. I am really looking forward to another great year of shows!
I definitely was not a perfect child and my parents can both testify to that. But I always tried to make good decisions. Ironically, I think I got in the most trouble with my youth group sponsors from church. Strange, I know but very true. But as I was being loaded onto a medical helicopter, and I was begging for something to stop the pain I was in after my accident, all those good decisions didn't matter to the sweet lady who was my medic. I was a teenager and a very high percentage of accidents involving teenagers also involves drugs or alcohol. They just assume it is the case every time I guess. I was repeatedly asked if I had been drinking. My medic later told my mom my response was a very polite "Oh no, ma'am, I don't do that." She probably thought, "yea right kid." And there was nothing she could do. Because if I had been drinking or on some kind of drug, anything they gave me might interact dangerously. So I had to wait. It was the longest helicopter ride I ever had. It was also the only helicopter ride I had ever had but it seriously felt like it was forever. And when the sweet man flying the helicopter landed I screamed. It was the shakiest, bumpiest, most horrible landing you can imagine. I felt everything. They were unloading me as quickly as they could and cutting all my clothes away. I remember being very sad that they cut off my brand new Doc Martin sandals. They were my first pair of Doc Martins and I was sure I wouldn't be able to afford a new pair. (Little did I know that I would never be able to wear a pair of Doc Martin Sandals again.) I would show you a picture of my clothes that they cut off if it wasn't too gruesome. I still have them. I take them out occasionally to reminded of how grateful I should be for my life. They are literally just shreds of fabric stained with blood. Like someone put my jeans and flannel shirt through a giant paper shredder. As the doctors and nurses all stood over me, I cried and begged for something to stop the pain. They asked me the same questions. I gave them the same answer. "No, I had not been drinking. No, I had not been taking any drugs." A few minutes later....I fell blissfully into a heavily drugged sleep.
I put my girls in my bed tonight. The storm even has our dog wanting in my bed. I had to lay my hand on my two year old's chest as she fell asleep. The thunder would sound and she would grip my hand. She kept checking to see if I was still there as she drifted off. And I couldn't help but think that there will come a day when she doesn't need me to put her to sleep anymore. Will I remember this sweet moment of cuddling my two year old while stretching over to play with my five year olds hair as they both fall asleep? Will this memory fade? How do you make a moment stand still?